God Knows I Long for You in Some Intricate Plot I've
Been Constructing in My Mind, Carefully, Over the Last Two Years. Two
Years Ago Today When I Lost My Sanity Because I Couldn't Control
No. No, No, No. It Wasn't My Fault.
It Wasn't My Fault because Like the
Ice Cream Van Which Drives By My House on an Unbearably Hot Day While I
Play in between the Sand and Sticks of My Mother's Front Yard, You Make
Me Jump Over the Dismantled Fence, Despite the Fact that My
Mother Said Not to, Despite the Fact that She Said I'd Hurt Myself
Jumping that Broken Wire. I Jump the Fence and Rip My Shorts; the
Introduction before the Climax, When My Thigh is Scarred by the Sharp
Never Mind that because as Much as it Burns, As Much as I Long for
a Plaster, I Numb it With Determination because the Ice Cream Man Plays
Such an Attractive Tune Through the Speakers of the Brightly Coloured
Truck and Because Ultimately, that Soft Serve will Satisfy My Taste Buds and Relieve Me of This Intrusive Heat. You Give Me Anxiety and Offer Me Curiosity without the Satisfaction of Opening My Gift.
I Ran and Jumped, Every Hurdle, With All My Might and Still, I Missed the Ice Cream Van.
....You Were the Steep Slope I Steadily Slid Down before The Weight of My Emotions Caught Up and I Gained Momentum .... All I Had to Do Was Dig My Heels Into the Ground and Free My Hands from Holding Onto The Weight Of Your Destruction. So Today I Did. I Did it Before I Crashed and Completely Shattered What Was Left of My Pride....
The Streets are You. The Air is You. The Languages Dripping Off Their Tongues are You....I'd Like to Forget, Like You. I'd Like to Run Away to a Foreign Place. Away From You....I Need to Get Away. And I'd Like to Find Myself in the Arms of a Stranger. A Handsome Man Whose Name I Don't Know, Whose Wife is Staring Down at Him Making Love to Me From a Frame on His Bedside. Just Staring At Us For Hours Until He Comes and I'm Satisfied at The Knowledge of Having Satisfied Him, If Not You....I'd Imagine Myself as One of the Women You'd Bed While My Fingerprints Lay Strewn Across Your Walls.... I'd Like to Walk Down Streets with Names I Can't Pronounce and Forget That God Ever Made Such Perfection When He Sketched You And Placed You Next To Me...Until You Left Me. I'd Like to Lay Between a Woman's Thighs And Taste Her Longing When She Digs Her Nails into Dirty Bed Sheets and Attempts to Muffle Her Cries Because She's Ashamed of Her Life and the Weakness Which is Him...I Want to Take Her Broken Because, I'd Imagine She Was Me and I Was You....